WDW: A Ghost's Night on the Park
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: Bored with the Haunted Mansion, the ghosts decide to swarm the park and have a bit of fun...
1. Hey! A Rampage

This is the first inwhat will hopefully be a series of humorous looks at "life" in Disney World. Although it takes place in the Florida park,Disnyland characters like the Hatbox Ghost and the "roaming" Armor will show up as well. Oh, and I don't own anything in this story. Nothing. No Disney, no Muppets, no anything...but if only I did...**

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It was a boring morning in the Haunted Mansion. The Hitchhiking Ghosts sat in the library as guests passed in Doombuggies. However, they didn't really feel up to it ti deliver scares...

"Boo. Boo. Be afraid," said Ezra, without much tone.

"Fear my ghostly presence," said Phineas, sounding like his friend.

"Somehow I think that we're not too enthusiastic about scaring people anymore," sighed Ezra, as he read a ghost story. They both noticed Gus swinging his ball and chain at a few people. "Well, there's Gus, but he's always been crazy."

"I wonder why we're not excited anymore..." said Phineas.

"We're always in this mansion! Sure, they do their best to keep it nice and dirty, but it's not the kind of place you wanna spend your afterlife in! Look at Cinderella! HER permanent home is a castle."

"Yeah, but every morning she has to entertain a bunch of screaming girls," Phineas pointed out. "We've got it good. Look at the Splash Mountain critters! Right from their little windows, they see stupid-looking cast members dressed as them, doing..." he shuddered. "'Meet and greets.' That's torture for them, when they know they could do a better job! Plus, Disney's holding back their movie!"

"But look at the other ghosts! They're just as bored! The ballroom ghosts are tripping up on their dance moves, the pop-up ghosts just sit up slowly, the singing busts are rapping, and even Master Gracey, OUR VERY OWN GHOST HOST, hardly has any enthusiasm!"

Gus walked over to them, proudly holding his chain. "Hey, did you see the look on that guy's face?"

Ezra kept reading. "Better tone that down, or they'll make you stand in one place and shift your weight, like that suit of armor guy who got too physical."

"Eh, even I'm tired of being treated like Heffalumps and Woozles," said Gus. "This ain't Tokyo Disney, so why are we acting like this is Fantasyland? We should go out and be scary!"

Ezra looked up. He had an idea, which wasn't always good for the other ghosts. "Go out...and be scary?

"Tonight IS the 'Not-So-Scary Halloween Party...'" thought Phineas.

Ezra looked enthusiastic. "Well, I say we get ALL the ghosts to come out of the mansion with us and scare everyone in the park! Forget 'Not-So,' this is gonna be one scary party! Spread the word, boys! The guests are gonna be wishing upon a star for a new pair of pants by the time we're done! The grim grinning ghosts are coming out to socialize!"

The hitchhiking ghosts jumped into a random Doombuggy. "Mind if we hitch a ride?"

"Get out of the ride vehicle!" yelled the guest riding in it. Gus calmly knocked him out with his ball and chain. "It's called a 'Doombuggy,' genius."

"I swear, they're gonna take that away from you," sighed Phineas. The ghosts passed through the various rooms of the mansion, calling out to all the other spooks about their plan for that night. They stopped calling when they reached Leota's room.

"Stop! It's Leota!" whispered Ezra. "If she leaves the mansion, she may blow up the park!"

"Act natural!" Phineas told them. He tired to make small talk with Leota as the Doombuggy passed through. "Uh...hey, Leota! Still annoyed at all the people who refer to you as a 'disembodied head?'"

"Yes I am. Still annoyed at people occasionally calling you '997, 998, and 999?'"

"Well, there's always room for one more!" said Ezra.

"Idiots," Leota whispered to herself as the ghosts disappeared into the Ballroom. "I heard your stupid plan. Don't think I don't have a plan..."

The ghosts continued through the mansion, into the graveyard, ending up back in the foyer. "We still need Gracey," said Gus.

Ezra stood up, determined. "This, my friends, will be our greatest challenge. We must handle it with care...HEY, GRACEY! GET OUT HERE! WE WANNA GO OUT AND SCARE PEOPLE!"

Gracey appeared. "Absolutely not! You know what that mouse will do if we invade his party!"

All the ghosts in the Foyer looked disappointed. "What happened to the fun Gracey who would show his corpse off to the guests?" asked Gus.

"Yeah," said Phineas, "we should just replace him Jack Skelington's giant head or something..."

"Hold on!" said Gracey. "I'm scary! I'm just as good as you three!"

Ezra and the others laughed. "You are not! Sure, you set the mood, but you're not scary."

"I am too!"

"Then prove it! Night has fallen, we're all ready to go, and you should come along! Really freak those kiddies out!"

"Well..." The ghosts all gathered around their leader. "Fine. Let's go on our little rampage."

"YEAH!" cheered the ghosts. Anyone passing by the mansion would have seen an amazing sight. Almost every single ghost (minus Leota and her daughter, Little Leota) marching out, all singing.

(sung to the tune of "Hey! A Movie")

Ezra: **_There'll be lots of screams_**

_**I can't wait to see**_

_**It is quite a lark to raid a park**_

_**That's like Disney!**_

Ghosts: **_Hey! A rampage_**

Ezra, Phineas, Gus: **_Yeah, we're going on a rampage_**

_**Led by everybody**_

Phineas: **_And me_**

_**We'll scare all those kids**_

_**When we're on the prowl**_

_**And they're gonna fear**_

_**Us when they hear our ghostly howl**_

Ghosts: **_Hey! A rampage_**

Gracey: **_Although Mickey won't be happy..._**

Ghosts: **_Led by everybody_**

Gus: **_And me_**

_**I'll swing my chain**_

_**Can't wait to trash the place**_

Pop-Up Ghosts: **_Can't wait to see_**

_**The look on Mickey's face**_

Ghosts: **_There'll be grinning ghosts_**

_**There'll be singing busts**_

_**And the kids will shriek when they see freaks**_

_**Who look like crust**_

_**Hey! A rampage!**_

Emily the Bride: **_"Look like crust?" I don't get it!_**

Ghosts: **_Led by everybody!_**

"And me," said Leota, watching them from her room inside the mansion. Little Leota sat in a chair by her.

"Just wait..." Leota said to her daughter, "sooner or later, those ghosts will upset the wrong people, and then..."

Unaware of the head in the crystal ball, the ghosts were still walking through the park. "Where is the party being held this year?" asked Gracey. A Raven flew over.

"I've seen it! It's in front of the castle!"

"Halloween?" growled Gus. "THERE? What a disgrace!"

"SO..."

Ghosts: **_There'll be lots of screams_**

_**I can't wait to see**_

_**It is quite a lark to raid a park**_

_**That's like Disney!**_

_**Hey! A rampage**_

_**Yeah, we're going on a rampage**_

_**Led by everybody**_

_**Everybody**_

_**Everybody**_

_**And me!**_

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And so, as Chapter 1 ends, the ghosts march into Fanstasyland... 


	2. Crashing the Party

The ghosts flew into the castle and looked down on Mickey, who was standing on a table, singing "Be Our Guest" to the kids.

"Look at him with his Alan Menken number!" hissed Ezra. "He should be singing 'Dancing On Your Grave' or something!"

"This is so un-Halloween, it makes me want to cry," said Gus.

Phineas was impressed. "Wow, they got Gus to cry! No one gets Gus to cry! It's physically impossible!"

"I say we all fly down there right now!" said Ezra.

Master Gracey sighed. "Oh, Ezra, you know nothing about a good entrance. I've got the perfect idea..."

Down at the party, Mickey had just finished his song. A shadow drifted down. It was the shadow of Ludwig Von Baroketch, the piano player from the library. He replaced Mickey's shadow. "Well, kids," Mickey was saying, "I hoped you liked that song! Now, let's all eat some candy!"

The kids all looked down at Mickey's shadow, which had turned into the shadow of a huge monster. They screamed.

"What's that!" asked Donald.

"It appears to be a projection of a shadow," Mickey said calmly.

Up on the castle, Ezra was disgusted. "Projection! Poor Ludwig! That's like saying we're dummies hung behind mirrors with lights shone on them, thus giving an illusion of us sitting next to the guests! We'll show 'Pepper's Ghost' the Mouse what scaring is really about!"

"This guy talks too much," said Emily. The ghosts all flew down, moaning. The kids took one look at them and ran away in horror, clearing the party in seconds.

"That was easy," said Gus. Mickey raced over. "You ruined the party!"

"Yeah, ya know what I say to that?" asked Gus. He swung his ball and chain at Mickey, knocking him over. "Now you're Gus's size!"

"I always thought he was too big for a mouse..." remarked Phineas.

A few ballroom ghosts waltzed down Main Street, pausing to scare guests. Ezra watched them, getting an idea. And when Ezra got an idea, as you've learned, he always carries it out. "You know, why stop here? I say we give the whole park a scare!"

The ghosts agreed and flew through the Magic Kingdom. The Suit of Armor hid in Cinderella's Castle, jumping out at various people. Wolfgang Elias Furlong, the organ player, replaced Sonny Eclipse and sent a heard of ghostly flying skulls after the people in the restaurant. Ezra flew through any thrill ride he could find whispering "I heard someone died on this ride." Several of the other ghosts flew through Pirates of the Carribean, animating the dead skeletons and having them battle with the pirates and scare the guests. ("Where's you Johnny Depp now, boys?")

The Hatbox Ghost ran over to one little kid. "Watch as my head disappears and reappears in my hatbox!" Nothing happened. "Darn. I never could get that trick to work..."

No one noticed a periscope coming out of the Walt and Mickey "Partners" statue. In his underground tunnel bunker sat Mickey Mouse, watching the ghosts and the guests. At the park's gate, he saw almost everyone, including most of the other Disney characters, leaving. He turned to Minnie.

"What do we do?" cried Minnie. "Those ghosts are crazy!"

"Don't worry! I've got an inside man working down there!"

In Liberty Square, Goofy was walking around dressed as Jacob Marley. "Pardon me, fellas!"

"Wish I had those chains..." said Gus.

Mickey put his plan into action. In one of Goofy's cashboxes was a walkie-talkie that Mickey talked through. "Okay, Goofy, now lead them to a different park!"

"Let's all go to Hong Kong Disneyland!" said Goofy, not getting it.

"No!" came Mickey's voice, loud enough for the other ghosts to hear. "Sea World or Universal Studios or something! But not a Disney park!" The ghosts all walked away. It was painfully clear that Goofy wasn't one of them, even before Mickey gave him away. After all, he hosted a character dinner a few yards away from the mansion!

Mickey watched from below. "I should have used Donald! At least his face is on a chair in the Haunted Mansion..."

Michel Eisner was standing behind Mickey. "Mickey, I know you won't agree with me, for some reason you guys never do, but I've decided to merge our park with Six Flags!"

Mr. Six, the old Six Flags guy, danced by. Mickey screamed and ran away. Eisner turned back into Gracey, and Mr. Six turned back into Emily.

"Who says I'm not scary?" smiled Gracey.

"If you EVER make me turn into an old guy again..."

The ghosts cheered as they watched Mickey run out of the park. A howl was heard.

"Was that a howl for victory?" asked Phineas.

"No, he howls every eight seconds."

"Hey, I've got an idea..." said Ezra (yes, he has a lot of ideas) "the night is young, and we've got the rest of the park to haunt! Let's see how fast we can evacuate MGM Studios!"

With another cheer, the ghosts all flew towards their next park. Goofy followed, thinking he was still working with them. "Wait for me!" Tripping over his chains, Goofy attempts to keep up with the ghosts.

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And who knows what awaits them there? 


	3. A Swinging Wake

Soon, the ghosts arrived at MGM, and the whole scene looked similar to the Magic Kingdom's. Hearing the guests' screams, Ezra walked into the Tower of Terror with Phineas.

"This will be the perfect place to start!" said Ezra. "We'll show the ghosts in here a thing or two about how to scare people!"

Phineas was more nervous. "Uh...I think the guys here a bit more...extreme than us..."

"Extreme you say? Well, my ghostly knuckles are already white, so I'll be fine!"

"Where ARE those ghosts anyway?" asked Phineas. The lobby was indeed empty.

"Maybe they're in here..." said Ezra as they walked into an elevator. The doors closed as Rod Serling walked out from behind a corridor. "Two ghosts simply want to upstage the others...but what Ezra and Phineas do not realize is that they have not walked into an elevator...but into the twilight zone."

Ezra and Phineas sat in the elevator.

"I don't know much about this ride..." said Ezra. "What happens in it?" Phineas pulled out a guidebook and read it. "Well, we go up really far...and then they drop us down again. Multiple times."

"WHAT!"

Both of them heard the laughter of a ghost bellhop from the ground floor. "What's wrong, boys? Afraid of falling?"

"Why did I always have a fear of heights!" moaned Ezra.

"What do we do?" The doors opened for a split second, giving them a view of the whole park. Ezra jumped out. "It's now or never! Jump!"

Phineas jumped as well. But in midair, he found a problem. "Isn't jumping worse?"

"Uh-oh."

Rod fell next to them. "These two hitchhiking ghosts have just learned that no matter how you try to escape, all paths lead to...the twilight zone."

"Oh, shut up!"

They hit the ground with a splat.

Meanwhile, a few other ghosts were invading MuppetVision 3D. Statler and Waldorf watched from their box. "I wonder if they'll summon up Walt Disney's spirit," said Statler.

"No, he's just frozen," said Waldorf.

"Oh. I guess this park made him bored stiff!"

Suddenly, Goofy burst through the movie screen. "I just knew I'd catch up with you guys!"

The ghosts' next destination in the park was the Fantasmic! show. The audience watched as an employee dressed as Mickey (Mickey usually played the role himself, but he was busy with the party that night) battled Maleficent in the form of a dragon. Just as the battle reached its climax, Ezra dropped in front of them. "Ladies and gentlemen! We ghosts would like to show you some classic Laff in the Dark pretzel ride entertainment! Sing it, boys!" The light shone on the singing busts.

Busts: **_When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake_**

**_Spooks come out for a swinging wake  
Happy haunts materialize_**

_**And begin to vocalize**_

**_Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize_**

British Tea Ghost: **_Now don't close your eyes and don't try to hide_**

**_Or a silly spook may sit by your side  
Shrouded in a daft disguise_**

_**They pretend to terrorize**_

**_Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize _**  
Mummy: **_As the moon climbs high over the dead oak tree_**

**_Spooks arrive for the midnight spree  
Creepy creeps with eerie eyes_**

_**Start to shriek and harmonize**_

_**Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize **_

"What's that?" asked an old man standing by him, unable to hear him.  
Ezra: **_When you hear the knell of a requiem bell_**  
Phineas: **_Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell_**  
Gus: **_Restless bones etherealize_**  
All Three: **_Rises spooks of every size  
_**The audience stood and clapped. Proud, Ezra smiled. "The like us! They really like us! Let's do the polite thing and scare 'em outta here!"

The ghosts rushed into the audience, sending them running for the gate. The ghosts laughed and sang their final verse.

**_If you would like to join our jamboree  
There's a simple rule that's compulsory  
Mortals pay a token fee  
Rest in peace; the haunting's free  
So hurry back we would like your company_**

The villains watched backstage. "Did you see that!" hissed Maleficent. They ruined my big scene!"

"It would appear that we need to rid ourselves of the ghosts," said Jafar.

"Our friends have made their fatal mistake," said Madame Leota, back in the mansion.

"What's that?" asked Little Leota.

"Never upstage a villain."


	4. Villains

The villains were gathered outside the mansion. The Boothill Boys, the two Splash Mountain villains, were digging up graves outside.

"There's gotta be a better way of getting dinner!" said one of them.

The other one noticed the villains at the entrance. "Hey...if Hades is here, then who's in the Underworld with those dead guys?"

"Aren't there just souls down there?"

"Whatever!" They flew away.

"Well, someone's gotta go in there!" said the Wicked Witch.

"Are you aware of what kind of stuff goes on in that place?" asked Jafar. "It's mad!"

"I'll go in!" said Madame Mim.

Hades was astonished about how stupid his friends were being. "Will you all relax? We have henchmen for a reason!"

Pain and Panic were thrown in.

"I hate going in this place!" whined Panic.

"Me too! Those ghosts are gonna eat us for dinner! It'll be a character buffet! Literally!"

"Let's just find a ghost, complain, and then run out screaming in a comical fashion," said Panic, as they walked past the Endless Hallway. They continued through the mansion and eventually stumbled onto Letoa's room. "Hey, look! It's the disembodied head!"

"I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME THAT!" yelled Leota. A bunch of musical instruments were thrown at Pain and Panic.

"Sorry! Sorry!" cried Panic. "We've been sent here to complain!"

"And you think saying that will make her stop killing you?" smiled Little Leota.

Panic nearly had a heart-attack. "KILLING US!"

"Yeah, if you kill us, then we'll be the ones stuck here with you!" Pain pointed out. The instruments stopped.

"Wait...you were sent by the villains, weren't you?"

"Do we look like the guys who would hang out with the princesses?" asked Pain. Panic smiled and flashed back to the princesses, who actually liked him and found him cute. He had actually been hanging around with them at the castle this morning. But that was his secret.

"Tell the villains to meet me in here," Leota told them. But when the imps got outside...

"Well, tell her to meet US out HERE!" said Hades.

Pain and Panic ran back in.

"In here!" ordered Leota.

"Out here!"

"In here!"

"Out here!"

"In here!"

"Out here!"

"In here!"

"Out here!"

Pain and Panic finally collapsed on the staircase. "I can't go on like this..." gasped Pain.

"Let's just stay here! Halfway down the stairs is a stair where we sit..."

The villains flew by, being held up by Leota's telekinetic powers. "Why couldn't she have done that in the first place!" said Panic.

"Let's get outta here!"

"Get into the Underworld and stop and bird brain guys from ruining things!" Hades called.

"Yes, sir..."

Leota greeted them "Welcome, foolish villains. I know you have a grudge against those ghosts."

"They upstaged us!" agreed Captain Hook.

"They drive me crazy!" growled Leota. "What's worse is that I'm responsible for most of their deaths! But what's important is that we both have a reason to destroy them and the rest of this park!"

"She knows what she's doing," said Little Leota.

"For some reason, I feel very close to this head," thought Maleficent.

"Don't call me that."

The ghosts, meanwhile, were playing a round of golf before they took on EPCOT. After all, they deserved a break after two songs.

"It's in the hole!" cried Ezra.

"It isn't anywhere near the hole," sighed Phineas. "You say that every time you hit the ball."

"Stupid," agreed Gus.

"You know, this was a pretty good idea," said Gracey.

"Hurry up, caddy!" ordered his bride.

"Yes, Emily..."

The whole course rumbled. It caused Ezra's ball to fall in. "It's in the hole!" The villains appeared, with a huge dinosaur. Leota was sitting on its back. "Guess what I resurrected at the Animal Kingdom!"


	5. Gus

Characters representing the park's lands gathered at the castle. Frontierland had Pecos Bill, who wanted to "rope the dino, swing it around, and make a crater that would become a landmark." Everyone agreed that was a weird idea. Then, Fantasyland's Dopey mimed something, but no one could tell what. Adventureland's Pirates were already making tracks, as was EPCOT's Figment. MGM's Muppets just made some bad puns, Animal Kingdom's Timon and Pumbaa were too lazy to show up, and everyone was already mad at Liberty Square's Hitchhiking Ghosts.

"If those ghosts got us into this, they should get us out of it!" said Roger Rabbit, who represented Toontown.

"Why is he even here? His ride's in Disneyland!" exclaimed Ezra. "Besides, we'd mess things up more. It's what we do."

"Well, someone's got to do something before our park is crushed," sighed Mickey.

Representing Tomorrowland, Ludwig Von Drake walked out. "Everybody listen to Ludwig, 'cause he's got an idea in his head! What killed the dinosaurs?"

"A comet?" guessed Kermit.

"Right! And ghost or not, we gonna get another comet, and BOOM! We rid of the reptile!"

"I'll rope one out of the sky!" said Pecos, getting his lasso ready.

"Um...actually, we got a great space station up in the air, where the comets soar. We gonna drop one right now!"

Up in a space station, Buzz Lightyear stood in his control room of Star Command. "Shoot the comet, rangers!"

Stitch whizzed by.

"Yeesh. You give a guy his own ride, a TV series, and a couple sequels and he thinks he owns the place," complained XR.

Stitch pressed a button, launching the comet towards Disney World. Down on earth, Leota looked up, seeing the comet. "I appears they're trying to defeat us. How amusing."

The comet burned up on the way down, completely missing the dinosaur. The tiny bit left hit Leota's ball. The dinosaur flickered in and out, like a bad TV signal.

Ezra noticed this. "Wait...did you see that? We're not after Barney! We want Leota!"

"Heh...Barney," giggled Phineas.

"Leave this one to me, guys," said Gus as he marched toward Leota. He dodged the villains and grabbed the crystal ball.

"You fool! What are you doing?"

"Something we should have done years ago!"

"Villains! Help me!"

The villains all chased Gus, followed by the huge dinosaur. Hades stopped the beast. :Hold on, scales! I've got a special job for you..."

The dinosaur set off for the castle.

Meanwhile, Gus was riding on a Disney bus, bouncing Leota's crystal ball. "Who knew this thing bounced?"

"Due to cutbacks, my crystal ball is actually plastic."

They got off at Blizzard Beach. Leota suddenly figured out her fate.

"You're not about to...'

Gus dropped her down a huge slide. "Have a nice trip! See you next fall!"

Leota splashed into the water, ruining her concentration. Inches away from the castle, the dinosaur vanished. The villains all stopped, unsure of what would happen next.

"Now what?" asked Scar.

"I'm not sure..." said the Witch. Jafar suggested that they would all go home, which they did.

"Gus! I'm proud of you!" cried Ezra, rushing up to his friend. He suddenly stopped. "I'd be even more proud if you hadn't used the line, 'Have a nice trip! See you next fall!' How old is that, anyway?" Gus hit Ezra with his ball and chain.

"You'll be happy to know the guests all thought that was an act and loved it," announced Mickey. "Just don't do it again, or you'll get a 'Journey Into Imagination' makeover!"

"So first we'll be robbed of all fun and then have a third rehab making it generally better, but never truly having the fun of the first version?" thought Phineas.

"All this made me wonder why we keep Leota around, and why you keep those villains around..." said Gracey.

Mickey looked embarrassed. "It brings in the money...boy, I miss Walt..."

"Well, back to the mansion!" yawned Ezra. "I can't wait to see what we'll do on Christmas?"

_**We've had grinning ghosts**_

_**We've had stuff from space**_

Phineas: **_We had a lot of fun_**

_**With everyone**_

Gus: **_Almost ruined the place_**

All: **_Hey! A rampage!_**

_**Yeah, we finally had our rampage**_

_**Starring everybody!**_

_**And me!**_

In the Underworld, Pain and Panic were still trying to keep the Boothill Boys, who had developed a taste for dead Greeks, under control. "Hades is gonna kill us when he finds out!"

"You mean IF he finds out!"

"If? If is good?"

"I was sent here," said Goofy, still in his ghost outfit. "Where's your kitchen?"

THE END

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And so ends our tale of the mansion's ghosts. Thank you all for the kind reviews. 


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